I recently read an article by Morgan Housel that addressed how wealth is subjective.
I love what he had to say because it seemed spot on to me. He referenced a joke by Chris Rock, “If Bill Gates had Oprah Winfrey’s money he’d jump out of a window.” The idea is that Bill Gates is so wealthy that having Oprah’s money would seem like poverty.
Consider where you are financially. Many of us dream of Oprah money or Bill Gates money. Even Beyonce mentions Bill Gates in her fantastic song, “Formation”. I looked into it and Beyonce has much less money than Bill Gates. Even the amazingly wealthy fantasize about other rich people’s money. The thing is that becoming extraordinarily wealthy is unlikely for most of us. Dealing with our reality is important, and making the best of our situation is the first step in mastering control over your life, whether it’s your financial life, your romantic life, or your family life.
Reflect on this; if the wealthiest people in America own 99% of all American wealth, it is clear you are unlikely to be part of that crowd. Accept it and work towards improving your circumstance whatever it may be. There is always room for improvement.
Mr. Housel states in his article three points that I think are helpful.
Sometimes people are lucky. I don’t believe in luck, except that I know I’m lucky to have been born in America. I experience privilege. For example, as a young woman, I was pulled over a few times by cops for doing the wrong thing when driving, speeding, and the like. I didn’t get moving violations, and I’m sure it was because I was a pretty young white woman (I was a pretty young girl once). When traveling, my spouse and I have been waved through security checkpoints, and have seen the dark-skinned gentleman behind us get thoroughly searched. Often they wave us through and say to their colleagues “Americano”. This is the explanation to the co-worker that we are not a concern. So yes I’m lucky, but I’ve also worked hard all my life. I’ve made choices, some good, some terrible. I am living the life I live because of the choices I’ve made, but also because of luck.
Mr. Housel states that wealthy people have endurance. They stick it out when others bail. He uses the example of a famous YouTube personality. He said that person suggested most YouTube personalities give up too soon. He advised that people should make one hundred videos before throwing in the towel, but that 99% of the people who start out give up well before one hundred videos. Persistence pays off. As Nelson Mandela said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”
Finally, Mr. Housel says that wealthy people have a high pain tolerance. They can stick with it even when times get tough. Recently I wrote about helping kids become money-wise. This aligns with the concept of delayed gratification, understanding that anything worth having is worth waiting for. I found a quote from Maximillion Degenerez that I like, “Delayed gratification is a sweet lesson whose teacher knows the best is not right now, it is yet to be.” Studies show that delayed gratification has many positive outcomes, and is worth exploring.
These three ideas are a spotlight of the article by Mr. Housel, and I liked what he had to say.
Ultimately hoping you’ll be a lucky person and stumble upon great wealth is a fun fantasy. If you daydream about what you’d do with a lot of money, that can be fun. Realistically it is likely you will be part of the middle class. That is fine. You can have an interesting and productive life in the middle class. I’m certain you’ve read articles about the school bus driver who died with millions in her bank account, or the school teacher or others. I read an article about a guy who drove an ancient Volvo. He kept it in top condition, kept it garaged and it was reliable. Because it was so old and in such good condition it was worth a lot of money as an antique. More importantly, he had a great car. He was able to forgo the ego trip of a newer car, lived with a great car that was affordable to drive, and ended up being worth more than its original price tag. That’s not luck, its good planning, delayed gratification, and perseverance. He was no Bill Gates, but he was a happy man.
Consider the janitor for an Ivy League university who sent all of his kids to that same university because as an employee he had education benefits that extended to his kids. An Ivy League education opens doors that otherwise would have been closed to his three kids. Most of us won’t have the funds to send our kids to an upscale university. But we can send out kids to state college a two-year college, or a trade school. If we don’t have the wherewithal to do that we can teach our kids to read and help them find ways to improve their opportunity with what they have.
I think most of us want success in some form. Perhaps we are an artist and we want to have our art recognized as amazing by “experts”. Or we write and want to publish a
best seller. Maybe we have a head for business and feel we could become a CEO or CFO or some other top dog.
I always look to the actor J. K. Simmons as inspiration. J.K. Simmons is very recognizable. He’s a character actor who has been in over 200 roles in television and movies. You’d know him if you saw him. He worked for his success. He began his career in 1977. Did he dream of becoming a leading man similar to George Clooney or Tom Cruise? Perhaps. More importantly, he’s worked. Consistently over the years, he’s worked. A remarkable achievement for any actor. Is he as recognizable as George Clooney? Yes, you know him, but you may not know his name. I think he is the perfect example of perseverance.
Setting your sites on reality is a great strategy to become successful on your terms. You may have to examine what success looks like for you. If you have cancer – success is surviving. If you are impoverished – success is having a regular paying job, if you are addicted to drugs – sobriety is success. The measure is personal, and the measure isn’t always a fancy car or a huge bank account. It can be a place to live, a loving partner, health, happy kids, or climbing a mountain as a blind person as Eline Øidvin did.
No matter what you aim for, know that luck may play a role in your endeavor, that you must persevere, and that pain will likely play a role in your success. You have to work through the pain whether it’s physical, emotional, or mental.
You can visualize living your successful life and that is always helpful. My book, “Your Future Self: A Time Travelers Manifestation Workbook for Intentional Well Being” can help.
