Have you struggled with indecision? Analysis paralysis? I have. I like to plan ahead as much as possible. I can confidently say that it’s my penchant for planning that has helped me find success. Sadly my bent for planning sometimes borders on the ridiculous. For example, I often preview restaurant menus so that I don’t get in a situation where I can’t decide. It is a weird habit that I want to discard; however, I worry that I won’t be able to follow through.
I have an ego problem
The internal pull to review a menu online prior to a visit to a new restaurant is strong. I’m sure this pull is related to my specialized diet habits, and I don’t want to be the one person who takes too much time to decide what to eat and feel embarrassed or uncomfortable. I don’t want my dining partners to think I’m dull-witted. Clearly, I have an ego issue.
I’ve been reading up on decision-making so I can overcome this barrier and part of the challenge I’m facing has to do with risk-taking and attributing an outsized value to the actual risk. Of course, there are no consequences to selecting a meal that isn’t “the best meal ever”. Most restaurant meals will be perfectly fine.
What are the consequences, really?
I find that when I have too many choices, I struggle. Similarly, when I fail to frame the question correctly, I struggle. For example, “What is the perfect entrée that will meet all my culinary and health preferences?” versus, “What can I have that’s mostly vegetables?” Clearly, a mostly vegetable meal is easier because it doesn’t include three factors, perfection, culinary, and health. Therefore in this instance, it is reframing that should help.
The other challenge I believe people have is living with the consequence of their decision. I don’t suffer from this, but I can see how consequences are an issue for some. I love being held accountable. I would rather take the blame and move on than place blame and attempt to prove I’m right. I simply don’t have time for that. As a leader, I’ve often found that people challenge your decisions, but are not willing to make a choice themselves. That’s okay, I like power, and being held accountable is a reflection of the power I wield.
Too many choices
There is another option which is to not choose and let someone else take the fall. As sung in the Canadian progressive rock band Rush’s song Freewill, “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”
I usually decide what to prepare for lunch for myself and my spouse. I make this choice because I’m picky and I want to be sure I fuel my body with healthy food. My spouse chooses to eat what I give him. I love the idea of having my main meal prepped and served to me, but I’m not willing to relegate this responsibility because I know of his kitchen skills and am certain he won’t prepare a healthy meal. To put it a different way, I can’t eat Kraft Macaroni and Cheese daily!
Naturally, some choices are more consequential than lunch. How can we make choices when the stakes are high? Sometimes not deciding right away can be a good move. I’ve found that doing nothing for a little while often lets the problem evolve and the choice becomes easier. I know this seems like a copout but I like to think of it more like allowing time to provide clarity.
Not everything will be perfect
If you don’t have time to allow a choice to marinate and have to make a decision right away, just make the choice and live with it. More likely than not you have most of the knowledge to make a good choice, it might not be perfect, but it most like will be a choice you can live with.
I’ve read about studies where they ask people to identify their favorite piece of art among a few options. They then allow the people to select from the options a piece of art they can take home, but they remove the piece they liked so it was not a part of the option to take home. When surveyed at a later time the people said they were happy with the art, and that upon reflection the art they were allowed to keep was in fact better than their original choice. Choices are not perfect, they are choices.
There is a great article that spells out what analysis paralysis is and how you can combat it.
Steps I plan to take to help me be more flexible in the way I approach leisure time are
· Stop looking at menus before I visit a restaurant
· Stop checking the weather before I go for a hike, I’ll just look out the window and be prepared
· Stop asking other’s opinions
· Realize/remind myself that most choices are simple and not end-of-the-world decisions
· Remember that I’m smart enough to make good choices
· Use my past choices to inform my future choices
This may be the most challenging of the ten habits I am learning to incorporate into my life this year. Mainly because I believe so strongly that planning has been crucial for the success I’ve had. Will I be able to abandon a perceived key component of my success and adopt a new approach to life? I’m unsure, but it’s something I want to try. The good news for me is that the choice to change isn’t life or death, it’s just accepting whatever the restaurant has to offer. I can do that.
I just have to remind myself, “You’ll be fine. Everything will be fine. Things usually work out in the end.”
This post has nothing to do with being frugal, but it does have to do with life-changing habits. I hope this helps you. For help with a frugal lifestyle, check out my podcast or buy my book.
Recently I began creating a YouTube channel with my future self visualizations from my podcast Your Future Self: A Time Travelers Guided Visualization Podcast for Intentional Well Being check it out!
