Do you live in a winter wonderland? Is your home filled with cinnamon scents and warm baked bread? Are your family members clamoring for your glorious attention?
If you are like me the holiday season can be a source of stress as well as a cozy time to reflect on our good fortune throughout the past year and to future gaze about what the coming year will offer.
Perhaps you are religious and you get an opportunity to connect with your community doing good works, and celebrating what the season means to you.
For many of us the holiday season means pressure to give gifts even if gift giving puts us in a financial bind.
Office gifting is complicated and expensive
When I was working there were many gifting times that added to my financial pressure. Once my manager asked that we “appreciate” a co-worker once a week for one month. She didn’t provide guidelines for “appreciation” so the bulk of appreciation was some sort of personalized gift. I felt resentful that I was required to participate in forced gifting, and I’m not the only one. We had several individuals in the office who were young parents, or college students, and gifting a co-worker wasn’t a financial priority for them either. Food, rent, gas for the car were priorities for many of us. But offices have a dynamic and participation is often viewed as being a team player. There can be career consequences if you don’t comply.
Office holiday times often include secret Santa, or white elephant gift giving. One job I had conducted a random ornament exchange in addition to secret Santa and personalized gift giving. Coupled with multiple in office and companywide potlucks the whole experience was expensive as well as overwhelming.
As I became more secure in my professional skills, I began doing what I wanted as far as holiday or other times of the year office gifting, I stopped participating. Did I get judged? Perhaps. No one ever said anything to me, so if they were judging me I never heard about it. All my co-workers knew about my commitment to frugal living so I imagine they simply thought I was being cheap.
Develop a philosophy surrounding gift giving
My feelings about gifting are this- I am a woman, fully grown, if I want something I will buy it. Often things that I want are practical items that would make my life easier. For example, lately I’ve been thinking about a mini blender to help make salad dressing easier. Not the sort of thing I would normally get as a gift or give as a gift.
My gift giving philosophy is that I will buy gifts for my grand children, but for my spouse and children I often provide baked goods, homemade candy, homemade holiday cards, a mix “tape”, which is now a USB drive for their car. I might make a holiday ornament. I host a holiday meal with expansive appetizers, drinks, main courses and dessert. The focus is on time spent.
For the grandkids I tend to learn towards books or educational toys that will expand their intellect. I’ve gifted membership to the zoo, science museum or children’s museum, with the focus on experiences I believe I am offering a more memorable gift than the latest popular toy they will set aside in a few weeks once the shine has worn off.
So as you can tell I’m not perfect when it comes to mindful frugal living over the holidays. I do spend a lot of money, more than I would any other month of the year. I cave to pressure. But I try to keep it in check as best I can.
Consider how you can manage your expenses over the holiday season. Is it possible to reduce the number of gifts you give, especially to the children in your life? These days’ kids own too many things. Maintaining things can cause children stress, and honestly often the box the item came in is as entertaining to kids as the item itself. Conditioning children to expect less is a good thing, it will prepare them to live a life of experience versus a life of stuff.
Tips to help you reduce spending
What can you provide kids that will have ongoing meaning?
- Experience through memberships to museums or zoos
- Classes at the local youth theater program
- Art or sports classes at the local recreation center
- Tickets to the local youth theater program
- Balls, or other sporting goods equipment
- A great book is one of the best gifts you can give a kid or an adult
What can you do about gifting to adults in your life?
- Explain you are focused on kindness on a daily basis versus big gifting on a special occasion
- Learn to create handmade gifts that are affordable, like water color art work, or basket weaving made from local natural materials
- Baking or candy making can be a great gift and a phenomenal time saver for your busy family members over the busy holiday period
- Give homemade jams, and lemon curd in mason jars, they are appreciated and delicious
Remember your love isn’t enhanced or diminished by the gifts you give. Hold firm to the idea that you are a loving person and that the people in your life know your love because you gift it as often as possible. Gifting love can come in the form of truly listening, honestly supporting your loved one, and stating your love to include specific qualities your loved one has.
When someone tells you they believe in you, or when they recognize your unique and amazing qualities you know how that feels. Gift this to the people in your life often. It will have more value than a trinket.
Remember to take care of yourself
Realize this time can be stressful; remember to take care of yourself.
- Eat well
- Exercise
- Meditate
- Read a great book
- Indulge in a long hot bath
- Exfoliate
- Deep condition
- Moisturize
- Sip tea
Finally when consider what will be important to you when you are old and your time is nearly up. Will you feel bad about yourself because you didn’t gift expensive or extravagant gifts, or will you have other regrets?
My sincere hope for you and for myself is that when the end comes we will have no regrets. But if we do, I hope they are of minor things not experienced, foods un-tasted, destinations not visited, and art unseen.
If you want to learn more about my journey and my ideas about paying off a debt and living a frugal life style you can pre-order my book “Never Worry About Money Again: Gain Financial Freedom by Becoming Better at Managing the Money You Have” due out in print and eBook in February 2023. If you aren’t ready to commit to reading my book keep learning more about my experience, and how you can become a ‘frugalite’. You can subscribe to my blog below, or check out my podcast Paige Power on Spotify, you can also click the link on my website.
