Back in September 2020 my spouse and I began what we refer to as Fasting Friday. Most Thursday evenings we have our dinner at around 6:00 PM and we don’t eat again until Friday evening around 6:00 PM. Later in 2020, we added yoga during lunch in order to have something to do during our lunch hour. Having something to do is a great way to help the time pass and ignore any feelings of hunger. At first, it was pretty hard to fast but as time goes on it has become easier. We have adapted.
Our aim in fasting has been to improve or maintain our health. I’m lucky that my spouse and I are aligned in our effort and desire to seek improvement in our condition through actions. We always try to have a good diet, to exercise regularly, to improve our understanding of the world, and to make our efforts more effective. It’s really nice to have a partner who agrees that achievement is a process and that the process is work that requires thoughtful planning and adaptation to changing circumstances.
In 2021 around the springtime, I’m not totally sure of the month, we added a Tuesday fast into the mix. Again we are seeking health benefits and I think it’s going okay. Like most Americans – we are overfed. Even though we have a primarily plant-based whole food diet, we fall short sometimes, and sometimes we are full-on not plant-based, not whole food, and definitely not healthy.
Learn from the examples around you
For me taking care of my aging body is a direct result of seeing my parents do little to care for themselves as they grew older. They retired, bought recliners, and sat down for twenty years, give or take. The effect of this was devastating for their health. My father eventually died of an aneurysm in his abdomen, but before this, he had several strokes, heart disease, and more. My mother developed severe osteoporosis, sciatica, and other health challenges. Now I’m not saying that sitting down caused them to have diseases, but I think it contributed to the effect of the diseases had on them.
The other effect of my parents sitting down was a lack of vigor for life. My parents were older when I was born and I recall as a young woman starting out in life telling my co-worker that I learned from their lifestyle what I don’t want. I don’t want to sit down at the end of my workday and watch television until it’s time for bed. I want to learn, read, see and do all I can until I die.
In August of 2021, we also stopped/reduced the amount of alcohol we consume. This has contributed to a fattening of our wallets and a reduction in our waistlines. My spouse and I have been heavy drinkers for some time. I don’t think this is unusual for many of us, especially with the pressure of the pandemic. I thought it would be really hard to stop because we were drinking every day and not at all in moderation. But it turned out we didn’t have trouble at all. We’ve stopped for the most part with the occasional glass of wine or beer. I learned that I often would drink a glass of wine when I got home from work because I was really hungry and I knew a glass of wine would quickly dampen that feeling of hunger. Naturally, my drinking on an empty stomach lead to a swift buzz, which would lead to more drinking. As I mentioned we have stopped for the most part, but I admit if we go out for a meal, I will order a gin martini, which I adore.
Focus on the effort
The thing about having these practices, (fasting, yoga, plant-based whole food diet..) is that it can feel like if we fail to follow our self-imposed rules it seems like “cheating”. I think many times we get it into our heads that we are “on a diet” therefore we can’t “cheat”. If we do step outside of the self-imposed rules and enjoy a greasy slice of pizza or a delightful ice cream Sunday we have no road back to our intentions.
Recently my spouse and I decided it was time to test ourselves and try a 48 hour fast. You can look up the benefits of a longer fast online so if you are interested. I found the process difficult; I think I have a harder time fasting than my spouse because I’m a hobbit by nature. I like all the food and am happy when I can enjoy breakfast, second breakfast and so on…
The effect of a longer-term fast was an impact on my digestion. Without going into too much detail, let’s just say I needed to stay close to the bathroom for a day post fast. I don’t think this is a big deal overall. I’m over it now. We ended up breaking our fast at earlier in the day than we originally planned by a few hours. I think this had to do with my feeling pretty depleted and not having the will to fast more within that short period of time, after all, we broke our fast on Saturday around noon. Ultimately I frame this breaking of my fast early like this-
“How will I feel about breaking my Tuesday fast ten years from now?”
Similarly, how will if feel in ten years if I enjoy a full-on meat hamburger versus a veggie burger, how will if feel in ten years if I have two gin martinis instead of one on the occasion that I step out for a meal at a nice restaurant? How will it feel in ten years if I fail to meditate one day, if I don’t do yoga on a fasting day, or if I don’t write in my journal?
When I frame all of my ambitions in a ten-year scope of time, small failures mean nothing. I like how I feel when I fast, meditate, do yoga, exercise and have a mostly plant-based diet. I don’t see that changing. Often we see people who have enjoyed outsized success, for example, Oprah, or Beyonce, and persons of their ilk. But having that as a standard isn’t realistic. We do this when people want something that we can’t imagine being able to do ourselves. For example, I’ve been writing for some time. I’m not a great writer but I enjoy it. If I tell people I am a writer they often say things like, “Are you hoping to be the next Stephen King?” which is ludicrous. If I went to work at a hospital, people wouldn’t say, “Are you hoping to be the hospital president?”
When I’m attempting to earn a living as a creative person, or as an entrepreneur, the judgments are swift. I suspect this has something more to do with the deliverer of the judgment than with the work I’m doing. Being consistent in my efforts will hopefully lead to earning enough to pay for my expenses, and to pad my retirement income as I age. I think that is a worthy goal. Would I be happy if I were the next Stephen King? Of course, but that isn’t the aim. The aim is to do work I feel good about, that provides a service to those who are seeking what I can offer, and to stave off financial ruin at the same time.
Focus on consistency, practice self acceptance
Adopting this attitude has helped me in other ways. When I consider my effort to construct an income, there are days when I’m not effective. Will that matter in ten years if I’m mostly consistent? I don’t think it will. I think that if I work with my heart, mind, and effort with the right motivation most of the time, small departures won’t have an impact.
For many years I’ve strived for perfection. I don’t think that’s a bad thing, but striving for consistency is a more loving way to treat myself. If my child came to me and said they failed to do something as inconsequential as following a strict diet, I’d say to them, “No big deal. Get back on that horse when you feel the time is right.”
If you are striving toward a debt free life and you have an emergency or a slip up and spend on your credit card, it will be okay. Forgive yourself and get back on the horse. My aim moving forward is to give myself the same compassion I would give someone I love, to stop being so hard on myself, and to stop having unrealistic expectations. Ten years will go by, whether I’m following my self-imposed rules or not. When I look back I hope that I can honestly say to myself I did pretty well. And pretty well is just fine.
If you need more ideas about frugal living you can pre-order my book “Never Worry About Money Again: Gain Financial Freedom by Becoming Better at Managing the Money You Have” due out in print and eBook February 2023. If you aren’t ready to commit to reading my book keep learning more about my experience, and how you can become a ‘frugalite’. You can subscribe to my blog below, and you can check out my podcast on Spotify “Paige Power”
