Christmas is coming
If you’re broke and don’t know what to do about holiday gifting, welcome to the club. For years I would struggle to buy gifts that were impressive, and then when I decided to live a frugal life I changed the way I give.
Books versus toys
This year I’m focused on giving books, primarily because I love reading and I want the people I love to have the joy of reading in their life, but also because my grandkids have a lot of toys. So many toys! It feels overwhelming to me when I see all they have; I don’t want to contribute to that.
I have no doubt the kids would love to get more toys, but I also know that toys don’t offer much. Typically they are played with for a week and then forgotten. A book though can transport a kid or an adult to another world for a while, teach a valuable lesson, or show a different way of looking at the world.
Should we give to adults?
For the adults in my life, my spouse and my kids, I don’t tend to gift over the holidays. I do prepare a lot of baked goods and holiday candy, but at this point, we are all adults who have what we need in our life. If we need something we buy it. It may seem callous, but I feel it’s more important to be honest with the people I love about gifting, it’s not a big part of my budget and I avoid it. I do nice things for people in my life as often as possible, they know I love them, but that I live a frugal life that means being frugal with gifting.
Secret Santa?
I have a hard and fast rule; I don’t participate in Secret Santa or white elephant gift exchanges. I just don’t enjoy it. I don’t want a stranger to give me something, and I don’t want to be boggled by trying to figure out what a stranger wants. Is this selfish? Yes, I guess it is, but I’m generous in other ways and I think it balances out. Fortunately, I don’t have an office job right now so I don’t have to worry about office gifting this year. There were times when the office gifting got out of hand. I had one boss who wanted us to draw a name from a hat every week of January and “appreciate” the person whose name was drawn. This was essentially forcing the people in the office to buy a gift for a co-worker every week for four weeks. No one thought it was fun after week one, and many of the team members weren’t earning much over minimum wage, it was a huge burden they could ill afford. When the boss tried to revive what she hoped would be a fun tradition the following year, the office balked and the tradition was eliminated.
Baked or homemade goods
I mentioned I like to provide baked goods and candy for the holidays. I’m a capable baker and I enjoy making this effort for the people I love. The baked goods are well received and I hope they make the holiday period enjoyable for all. What do I bake?
· Gingerbread cake with lemon curd topping that I store in a small mason jar.
· Chocolate chip cookie dough (so they can bake small batches when they want)
· Cheesecake
· Banana bread
· Almond cookies
· Toffee with chocolate topping
· Spiced nuts
· Not baked but an accompanying gift of a mix CD of great music with a watercolor envelope painted by me
· Watercolor holiday greeting card created by me
Those are a few options I enjoy making, the food can be stored in the freezer by and large or in a glass jar with a good-fitting lid. I deliver them either in a reusable grocery bag, basket, or on a serving tray.
Am I cheap?
Is that sufficient? I think so. Do my loved ones think I’m cheap? Maybe. I think though I have been honest with them about my feelings, and no one has complained. I tell them not to buy me a gift, sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t.
Stress avoidance
It took years for me to figure out this strategy. When I was younger I would stress out over having to spend a lot of money on gifts for people, and I wasn’t particularly creative when gifting, so that added to the stress. I had family members who had much more money in the bank than I had, and they would give expensive and extravagant gifts. While I thought it was nice of them, I often felt resentful because I was not in a position to reciprocate, and they knew this, but they would lavish gifts nonetheless. I always felt like a real heel, but my economic reality was so vastly different from theirs I felt I would always be destined to feel bad about my lower quality and lower-cost gifts. Fortunately, I divorced from that situation and no longer have this concern.
If you think you can follow these simple steps to ensure a less stressful gifting season-
· Decline to participate in office gifting. Explain to the person organizing the Secret Santa or white elephant that you don’t want your name put into the hat. Will your co-workers think you are a spoiled sport? Maybe, but it is unlikely they will ever say anything to you about it.
· Find ways to say I love you over the holiday that doesn’t involve expensive gifting.
· Tell your family you don’t want them to buy you gifts this year, and explain that your budget is tight and you can’t afford gifting, but that they can expect a token from you.
· If you enjoy entertaining, that is a great way to spend time with your loved ones and show them how much you care with a lovely shared meal.
· If you are crafty consider creating something you can easily afford and achieve as a gift. I love a handmade gift more than anything anyone can buy me.
It’s not a perfect solution to simply avoid gifting at all, but you can likely figure out with the hints provided something that will work for you, your family, and your budget. The biggest takeaway should be that if you are lucky enough to have people in your life that you adore, figure out a way to be with them, to listen to them, to share with them, and don’t worry too much about being the best gifter in the room. Just find a way to tell them how much you love them, which is a gift everyone needs to receive as often as possible.
