Great stuff won’t fix how you feel about yourself
The desire to have the newest and greatest item is strong for many of us. I feel the pull to have something new and lovely all the time, but most strongly when I’m having confidence issues.
A few years back I decided to stop dying my hair, I now sport fully natural mostly grey hair that I like most of the time. There are times however that I feel insecure. When this happens I consider dying my hair, buying a new outfit, new shoes or something else that will make me feel good for a moment.
I don’t fully understand why I have a crisis of confidence. Certainly I feel insecure when I’m fatigued. When I feel stress I begin to have confidence issues.
Recently, I bought a new Kindle e-reader. My original Kindle is very old. I bought it in 2011. The newer Kindle has features my old kindle doesn’t have. Back lighting for one. My original Kindle required a well lit room, or a book light to work well. My new Kindle offers more storage space, which is great because I own 1,500 books and my old Kindle has issues with the search feature due to its maximized capacity. My new Kindle is smaller with a touch screen, therefore more modern. It offers features that seem appealing and it looks great when I bring it out of my purse for a quick read in public spaces, versus my old bulky Kindle.
The reality is that my new Kindle is not as good as my old Kindle. The back lighting consumes the battery, I can’t get my books to transfer over to my new Kindle, the search feature is confusing, and the most annoying feature is the touch screen. I find that I turn pages accidently, or when I’m dozing off at night. I’m not saying that the Kindle e-reader isn’t a great product, it is.
In 2011 when I bought my first Kindle I was delighted to have books on demand when traveling. I had a few friends who gifted me several books which I am truly grateful for. As I mentioned my library is now over 1,500 books on my Kindle. Imagine having that type of library at your fingertips.
That year, 2011, my spouse and I had been dating for about a year when we decided to visit Hawaii. It was a great trip, but I learned during that first trip that he liked to sleep on an airplane almost from take off. That first airplane ride could have been ultra boring, but because I had my new Kindle with many gifted books loaded I was able to start it up and find something to read. I decided to read “The Hunger Games”. Normally I don’t enjoy young adult fiction. I like full on adult fiction, but I’d been hearing about this book for a while and decided to give it a shot. By the time we reached the big island I was deeply entrenched in the story.
My original Kindle has been to over twenty countries with me. Reading is akin to breathing for me; I will read at any time, provided I have an engaging piece to consume.
You can imagine that after plopping down $100 for a new Kindle then learning that my books can’t be easily transferred was a disappointment. Alas, it was my slip of confidence that lead me to purchase a new Kindle. I regret the money spent for no good reason, but it was a lesson, so I’m thankful for that.
Occasionally I slip up, but I forgive myself and I’ve learned how to incorporate my new Kindle into my reading regimen. My new Kindle didn’t solve the problem of confidence, but I’ve learned to enjoy it in a way that is different from my old Kindle. For example when I check out digital books from my library, I load them on my new Kindle. When I get books from the website Project Gutenberg that offers books in the public domain for free, I use my new Kindle. Why do I use my new Kindle for these purposes? Because the way my account is set up now it works easily. Can I change it? Yes, but I’m okay with the way its set up for now. I worry that my old Kindle will eventually stop functioning, so I’m gonna stick with things as they are.
The answer is not a new item, but loving an old item
To overcome my lack of confidence, I decided to refurbish my old Kindle cover. When I first purchased my Kindle, I made my own cover from an old book that I knew I would not read again. I removed the interior of the book, covered inside lining with felt, attached Velcro to the inside and to the back of my Kindle.
Honestly, this Kindle cover had been my all time favorite. I’ve made a few others but this one reigns supreme. I love how it seems like an old book that is uninteresting. This keeps my digital product safe from thieves. I like how it looks dog eared, and is well worn, because it has been used and loved.
What I didn’t like is how the felt pilled over time and felt course on my finger tips. I didn’t like opening my “book” and seeing the rough felt that looked dirty. I decided it was time to replace the felt with new fabric. Last week I went to the fabric store, where a nice clerk recommended a fabric that feels soft and doesn’t pill, and doesn’t fray. I ripped apart my Kindle cover and replaced the lining with the new fabric. I love it. I’m currently deeply engaged with a series that I am enjoying tremendously. When I open my cover, feel the soft fabric, when I see how clean it looks, I feel proud of my diligence. I feel proud that I was able to recover an item that I enjoyed thoroughly over the past 11 years.
When you are feeling insecure, don’t automatically head to the mall, the hairdresser, the local eatery, or find another way to sooth your feelings. Find a way to build yourself back up. I’m unsure what causes me to feel insecure, but I know that buying things, eating too much, ignoring my health or failing to appreciate what I have, doesn’t build my confidence again.
Here are some things you can do when you are having a crisis of confidence-
- Consider what you want to buy, and figure out a way to substitute or refurbish an item for a new item.
- Go for a walk and think about what truly makes you happy. I’m sure it’s not stuff.
- Spend time with a trusted friend.
- Meditate.
- Make a list of favorite activities and take time to pursue those activities.
- Go on an adventure, even a small adventure, like a hike in a new nature area you’re not familiar with, or join a group that hosts MeetUps and learn something new.
Remember that purchases rarely end in true happiness or confidence. Those emotions come from within and we all have the capacity to cultivate our inner garden of self assurance. As part of my endeavor to overcome my crisis of confidence I present you with images of my refurbished Kindle cover with the knowledge that it isn’t high art, but it brings me joy.
The caveat to my post is that I’m not a finance pro, health pro or other “pro”, I’m a writer, all the advice I give is based on my personal experience.
If you want to learn more about my journey and my ideas about paying off a debt you can pre-order my book “Never Worry About Money Again: Gain Financial Freedom by Becoming Better at Managing the Money You Have” due out in print and eBook in February 2023. If you aren’t ready to commit to reading my book keep learning more about my experience, and how you can become a ‘frugalite’. You can subscribe to my blog below.
